A douchebag to become new Feds president without election
January 26th, 2008 | by Talcum Powder |
The Federation of Students (affectionately1 known as Feds), UW’s undergraduate society, announced that Mr. Justin Williams, an Environmental Studies student/apparent douchebag, has been acclaimed the new president of Feds as there were no other contestants.
Speaks volumes about the student life at UW, doesn’t it? No one gives a shit because there is nothing to be fought over.
Then again, what do you expect from a student body composed almost entirely of upper-middle class Toronto suburb kids just coming out of a very sheltered childhood? Who needs the student governing body when you’ve got Daddy’s American Express Platinum Card?
Maybe it’s all for the best. At least I won’t have to endure self-important fucktards screaming at each other over whose platform is the least unrealistic (sidenote: all time favourite of these future Stockwell Days is “cheap housing” - how are you going to force landlords to lower the price? pass a fucking resolution at Feds council meeting?) at SLC.
Well, here’s our new president - a chubby with a belly and nice budding breasts, not to mention the pube-goatee and serial-killer smile.
God, I fucking hate this school.
To give Mr. Williams some credit, I must say he is the most honest Feds president in recent memory. When asked by Imprint (UW’s shitty paper - but that’s another story) what his platform is he “did not speak on the specifics of his platform, saying he needed further consultation with his running-mates.” (i.e. he has no platform)
1 Not really.
One Response to “A douchebag to become new Feds president without election”
By kate on Jan 30, 2008 | Reply
First and foremost I would like to thank you for this very touching and compelling tirade on how much you clearly hate your life and are now even more wronged with this recent development in the 2008 FEDS elections…considering that the recent appointment of Williams to presidency can only work to further depress your sorry excuse for a concerned student life.
God forbid we have yet another well spoken, well accomplished and capable candidate in office who has some serious potential to make a difference in the lives of UW students. Contrary to your oh so cynical and jaded beliefs, Williams is about as much of a deush and credit card wielding Daddy’s boy as you are a credible source of information or even valued opinion. Although you surprisingly got his educational background right you forgot to mention the multitude of extra-curricular he has been involved in [namely FEDS council and Orientation (he’s a damn good FOC) that more than qualify him for this position.
Before you go on further embarrassing yourself with unchecked facts and hypocritical statements, I caution you to stop, think, and walk away from the computer unless what you have thought of in any way resembles an educated and witty remark towards the state of our student government.
By all means feel free to criticize the lack of student apathy on campus all you want, however spare the general public with your hypocritical and ludicrous remarks unless you’re prepared to actually do something about it, as Williams obviously is. If this proves to be too much of challenge for you then I suggest limiting your subject matter to something you may actually know something about (EMO music and tabloids, clearly they have had some influence in your sorry excuse for a BLOG)
Cheers.